I’m modeling this post after Sylvia Plath’s “Back to School Commandments” during her junior year at Smith College. It’s important to set goals, stick to them, and see to it that you’re living your life on your terms, beyond the expectations of others.
So, here are mine:
- I will not be afraid to stick someone with a needle. I will be prepared. I will have steady hands and no fear.
- If I hurt someone with said needle or any other medical instrument, I will be brave and say sorry. Like, a million times. But I will recover and do it again.
- I will choose one book to read recreationally this semester and finish it.
- I will speak my mind with unwavering confidence.
- I will pour myself into patients and give them every ounce of compassion that I have in me.
- I will actually take my meds on time.
- Even when my meds make me severely fatigued, sick, and weary, I will leave those feelings at the door.
- I will not be ashamed to ask questions if I don’t understand.
- I will do things that make me feel alive with the people I love.
- I will not be ashamed that I have to take Klonopin 3x a day in order to stay functioning.
- I will strive to be my preceptor’s favorite.
- I will not let stress kill my sense of humor.
- I will be more intentional in my relationships.
- I will take more time to dance around my living room alone to Jimmy Buffett’s “Living and Dying in 3/4 Time”
- I will study when I need to, and I will also sleep when I need to.
It is the small fairy lights of goodness that light my path towards the peace that I know is waiting for me in this troubling time in my life.
I make me. At 18, I decided I wasn’t going to have an unconstructed self ever. I was going to be the composer, the designer, the architect of me. It’s been really fun.
[Dr. Patch Adams]